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Zbul · Posted: 2011/05/04 4:14 pm Post subject: Dummy's Guide for Moving to Canada

This is from one of my best friends, and grew out of a discussion of how I was going to move to Canada if we elected Donald Trump as President.

"It's easy enough. Here's my "Moving to Canada for Dummies:"

*You get to like donuts (Tim Horton's, of course).
*You root for the Maple Leafs. Maybe not if you are in Edmonton or Vancouver.
*And you say Eh after anything that sounds like a question.
*Add a "u" to words and change your "z" to "s".
*And remember that Z isn't pronounced Zee but Zed.
*But you'll have to learn French no matter where you move. The best way to learn French is sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal and reading the cereal box. English and French are next to each other so it's easy to learn.
*Smarties aren't the little sweet tart candies but M&M-like. In fact, all chocolate is a blend between US and European chocolate. Oh, that's right Lisa, you don't like chocolate. So don't eat the Canadian Smarties.
*The one dollar coin is called the Looney and the two dollar coin is the Tooney.
*Sesame Street in Canada doesn't have Spanish but French (because you have to learn how to speak French to get a decent job). That may be another excellent way of learning French.
*Much Music is the equivalent of MTV.
*They love Brian Adams, The Barenaked Ladies and Alan Thicke
*If you want a good burger, go to Harvey's
*If you want good chicken, Go to Swiss Chalet
*There used to be 2 Major League Baseball teams, but the Montreal Canadians moved somewhere out of Canada. (My Canadian grandfather would ONLY cheer on American teams.)
*Roots is their equivalent of Tommy Hilfiger.
*Gas is way more expensive. Oh, and you'll figure it out once you convert Gallons to Litres because everything is on the metric system. Good luck with that.
*There's a lot of snow. Like, a lot.
*Everything costs more. Taxes are higher, but they take care of their people better.
*When you retire, you will become a snowbird in St. Petersburg, Clearwater or Largo, Florida.
*You drive on the other side of the road (JUST KIDDING - making sure you are still paying attention).
*Apparently, wedding cake in Canada is fruitcake. To me that is horrific. Fruitcake is no dessert. If you have fruitcake at your wedding, I won't go. I've never gotten so sick on a food.
*Most people are friendly and laid-back. They like to sit back and have their dinners and drinks and just enjoy life. There's a lesson in that."

What is 14 + 2?